V\H\S Page #4

No, I didn't.

Well, you must have because

I had $100 in here...

- When would I do that?

- And now I have zero dollars in here.

Well, I didn't, so maybe you

didn't actually have that money.

What'd you buy?

I didn't buy anything!

I have my own money. I don't

need to take your money.

Are you serious?

- Did you...?

- What do you think I did?

Well, I don't know...

I've been with you...

- ... because the money's not here!

- ... this whole time!

I've been with you

this whole time.

I have no idea what you could

possibly be imagining right now.

Well, it wouldn't be

the first time...

You decided to treat yourself.

How far can you go?

I could probably go farther,

but I'm too scared.

Here, I'm gonna go

a little further.

Okay.

Are you alive?

Did you fall?

It's just a lady...

Out there having a

conversation on a cellphone,

but it's so quiet

that I can hear her

even though she's

about 50 yards away.

Oh, weird!

I don't think I can

get back up.

- Do you need help?

- Maybe.

Can't quite find

anything to grab on...

Nice work.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

All right, so,

babe, I'm thinking...

That we could drive home on 40

and spend the night

in lake Havasu,

and sort of break the trip

up so it's not so brutal...

Or...

My new idea is we could go a

little bit out of the way

and spend the night in Vegas

and still break the trip

up, for the most part,

but also have, like, one

more day of... Fun.

I just really badly

wanna play craps.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

I had so much fun

playing craps last time,

and I haven't done it since.

It's, like,

the really fun game.

Real group participation game.

Well, whatever you want to do.

You- you get to pick.

All right. That is definitely

what I want to do.

I'm feeling lucky.

Can I turn off the light?

Mm-hmm.

Did you erase it?

What the f*** was that?

What's so special

about this tape, anyway?

I don't know.

Maybe it's a tape of a senator

f***ing his daughter

or something,

and we're gonna use it

for blackmail.

I don't know,

as long as they pay us,

but I'll tell you this,

we're gonna make tapes-

- copies of the tapes.

- More money.

Can you not put that

so close to my face?

It's so annoying.

Wait a minute- you go

to this lake every year?

- Yep.

- By yourself?

Um... yeah.

But this year, I have you

guys, so it's gonna be fun.

What do

you do, just, like,

walk around the woods

and play with yourself?

If- if that's what you do,

can I play with Samantha?

Get it out-!

Guys, let's

scare this guy.

- Where?

- This guy over here.

Are you ready?

Wait, wait, wait,

what is he doing?

Sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Ho ho ho!

You almost f***in'

killed that guy!

He was

kind of cute, though.

- What?

- He was.

You are- you seriously

want to f*** anything

that has two legs with a

third tripod in between.

I would never f*** you

and I would never f*** you.

- Oh.

- Take it back. Take it back.

- I might f*** you one day.

- Yeah, what kind of guys are you into?

I'd f*** me.

Would you, Spider?

- F*** you?

- Yeah.

Eh, probably.

I don't understand.

You go to this lake every year.

It's just, like a tradition-type

thing, or what's the deal?

No, it's just fun, and not

many people go up there,

so we'll have the place

to ourselves.

Wait,

I'll get the door.

It's good,

right?

I want to see

you get it.

Can I

have a piece?

I just got

a piece for you!

Because when you told me

about this trip,

you said it was just

gonna be us girls,

but now we're...

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I need to document this, okay?

You told me, Wendy-

Wendy, my sweet-

that this was just

gonna be you and me,

and now you've told her

that it's gonna be

all girls trip.

I'm just glad I'm with

some people and not alone.

I don't want to hear

a word about you jerking off.

I don't jerk off

that much, but...

- Not that much?

- Come on!

Is this it?

I don't know.

Is this it?

Oh, okay, yeah.

This is-

Ooh, dead end!

Let's take the left!

Really, Wendy?

...to go,

so f***ing go, man.

I can't catch that thing.

Just get it.

You have your

bowie knife, right?

Oh! Get him, get him,

get him, get him!

Do you got him?

- What is that?

- It's a barracuda.

- A what?

- A barracuda.

- That's a fish, you idiot!

- It's a barracuda... Fly.

Oh, seriously?

I don't know.

You wanna see me eat it?

Yeah!

Oh, f***.

You're not really

gonna eat it, are you?

Oh, my God! Oh, my go-!

I mean, I was

here to f***in' boink her.

Yeah?

What are you-?

Wait. I have a question.

What are you doing here?

Huh?

See that, uh, blonde

goddess up there?

- No, where?

- That's what I'm here for.

I don't see much of

a blonde goddess anywhere.

Or, uh... Blonde crack

whore, according to you.

- Hey, give me the camera.

- She is a crack whore.

You're not gettin'

the camera, bro.

- Just gimme it for one second.

- Why?

- 'Cause I wanna do something.

- No. Go f*** yourself.

Wedgie?

Joey... Joey...

Did she wedgie you?

No.

That's more like it, dick-wise,

right above your head.

Look. Stop-stop!

It's coming right

out of your head.

It's about the size

of your dick,

and it's moving!

We're walking around

the middle of

the f***ing woods.

Where the f*** are we going?

Can you get a shot of this?

Yeah, sure. Of what?

What, of the wall?

Yeah.

Just humor me, okay?

It's tripping me out.

The last time I was here,

my friend fell over it.

All right. Well...

hi, wall. "Hi, Joey. "

- Good?

- You're so- soon as you get back up.

Why are you

carrying around grass?

Okay! God! Jeez-!

You mother f***er!

I didn't do it!

Wendy did it!

Well, I- you shoulda

ninjaed that sh*t!

- Oh, f*** me!

- Did I break it? Is it okay?

Oh, my God!

Yo, that is gnarly!

- Hey, Samantha! Hey, look!

Hey, you like this?

Ohh, easy!

That

reminds me of your mom!

Oh, that's funny.

That's really funny.

You guys

are f***ing disgusting.

Seriously, that's gross!

Stop poking it!

Oh, my God,

it's not gonna hurt you.

- Oh, look!

- Yo, that's filled with nutrients.

Just suck on it.

Bite into it!

What are you doing

over there, crazy girl?

What's with this camera?

Whoa, whoa, look at that!

Look, this!

- Look at this.

- Oh, wow.

- Isn't that awesome?

- Yo, we could trip all day on that.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

- You like that? Yeah?

Dream on.

Joey... You're all gonna

f***in' die up here.

What?

- Tell me you got that.

- Nice!

That one skipped,

like, 20 feet.

Nice, dude!

I'm not getting

in that f***ing lake.

- Yo, give me that.

- You get this?

What's up, guys?

What up?

What are

you guys doin'?

Just f***in' chillin'.

Here, babe.

Are you

guys doing drugs?

What?

He f***in' calls it drugs!

Wait, I gotta get this.

No, oh, my God, Spider, the

look on your face right now...

Are you guys doing

drugs right now? Seriously.

- No, seriously.

- Spider, can I tell you something?

- Okay.

- You're a f***ing dweeb.

Whatever. I don't-

I don't do drugs.

How 'bout that?

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